EXTREMELY BITTERSWEET

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extremely bittersweet1 extremely bittersweet2 Yesterday was a highly anticipated day for this little gal, as we officially signed her up to attend Junior Kindergarten in the fall (Ontario has a two step kindergarten program that begins after the classic first preschool year). The day came with a bit of confusion on her part, as she was sorta hoping after we signed the forms that she could instantly stay. To say that she is ready to start her lifetime of school days alongside her brother, is a tad bit of an understatement. Me on the other hand, such an extreme rush of upside down, right side-up and inside out emotions. It’s an extremely bittersweet moment signing your kiddo up to attend school, but when it’s your baby? Cue complete happiness and sadness punches in your gut all day long.

Not only was yesterday, so full of excitement and bittersweet moments for me – but also a huge rush of WTF feelings. I still haven’t fully figured out my epic recipe and just when I think I might have a handle on a plan or a road to take, I look at the calendar and realize time is starting to tick. The most asked question I get lately is, “what are you going to do when the kids are both in school?” like at least once a day maybe even more. It’s a valid question and one I just wish I had a better answer for other then my slew of ideas, a semi plan and a great big “I’m still trying to figure that all out“. Yesterday made it all extra real (anxious sigh). I am excited for what the future holds and all the time and possibilities that opens for me, excited that little Harley gets to go to school (because she is jumping out of her seat excited every time she talks about it) but also holy crap am I nervous as to what it’s all going to look like in the end.

I am everyday thankful for this blog, the opportunities it has brought, the people it has helped introduce me too and the amazing things it has taught me about myself. I know my plan needs to fall somewhere with this blog (and oh how magical will it be to have so much time to work on it), the amazing freelance work that accompanies that, collaborations, maybe/hopefully more entrepreneurial dreams and some sorta bigger income driver. My current over thinking status (when I get quiet moments to think) is focused on that, what to do and how to make it all work in one sweet packaged deal that allows me to keep doing what I love and am great at (jack of a few trades) but also bring home the bacon. This actually sounds like an internal question for the ages, and one I’m sure most everyone has a few times in their life – I know this isn’t my first, this time it’s just so very different.

*H, always has a set of banana hands or banana feet – she just loves putting things on the wrong way.

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February 11, 2014 · Daily,REAL LIFE



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