EXTREMELY BITTERSWEET

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extremely bittersweet1 extremely bittersweet2 Yesterday was a highly anticipated day for this little gal, as we officially signed her up to attend Junior Kindergarten in the fall (Ontario has a two step kindergarten program that begins after the classic first preschool year). The day came with a bit of confusion on her part, as she was sorta hoping after we signed the forms that she could instantly stay. To say that she is ready to start her lifetime of school days alongside her brother, is a tad bit of an understatement. Me on the other hand, such an extreme rush of upside down, right side-up and inside out emotions. It’s an extremely bittersweet moment signing your kiddo up to attend school, but when it’s your baby? Cue complete happiness and sadness punches in your gut all day long.

Not only was yesterday, so full of excitement and bittersweet moments for me – but also a huge rush of WTF feelings. I still haven’t fully figured out my epic recipe and just when I think I might have a handle on a plan or a road to take, I look at the calendar and realize time is starting to tick. The most asked question I get lately is, “what are you going to do when the kids are both in school?” like at least once a day maybe even more. It’s a valid question and one I just wish I had a better answer for other then my slew of ideas, a semi plan and a great big “I’m still trying to figure that all out“. Yesterday made it all extra real (anxious sigh). I am excited for what the future holds and all the time and possibilities that opens for me, excited that little Harley gets to go to school (because she is jumping out of her seat excited every time she talks about it) but also holy crap am I nervous as to what it’s all going to look like in the end.

I am everyday thankful for this blog, the opportunities it has brought, the people it has helped introduce me too and the amazing things it has taught me about myself. I know my plan needs to fall somewhere with this blog (and oh how magical will it be to have so much time to work on it), the amazing freelance work that accompanies that, collaborations, maybe/hopefully more entrepreneurial dreams and some sorta bigger income driver. My current over thinking status (when I get quiet moments to think) is focused on that, what to do and how to make it all work in one sweet packaged deal that allows me to keep doing what I love and am great at (jack of a few trades) but also bring home the bacon. This actually sounds like an internal question for the ages, and one I’m sure most everyone has a few times in their life – I know this isn’t my first, this time it’s just so very different.

*H, always has a set of banana hands or banana feet – she just loves putting things on the wrong way.

© 2014, HEART & HABIT. All rights reserved.

· February 11, 2014 · in Daily,Real Life



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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Ally February 11, 2014 at 2:21 pm

I know your overthinking mode well. I wasted both of my mat leaves worrying every minute of every day about what job I would have in the end, how much money we would be making and what our lives were going to look like. What I found out both times – it works out. And it rarely works out exactly like you planned in your brain over those months and months of worry. Keep an idea in your head of what you like and want to do. Talk to a few people. Put a duck or two in a row. Be open to opportunity. But then stop. Make your kids a hot chocolate or colour a picture with them. Remember that your full time job right NOW is them and they need your full time attention! Enjoy every second of it.

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Hadley February 11, 2014 at 9:28 pm

As someone who just started staying home with her daughter, plans on having more kids- I’m already asked what I’m going to do when my kid(s) go back to school. And it already makes my mind race. Being a mom takes time, energy, love, patience. Take a few weeks/months to stop and breathe and see how things go. Maybe after getting the kids to school, doing work on here and sitting for 5 min, it’ll be time for homework and dinner. Maybe a lot of things will happen, but I’d say take a bit of time to get used to this new normal and see what you feel then. Good luck, you’ll do great things no matter what you do!

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Heart and Habit February 12, 2014 at 5:45 pm

Thank you so much Hadley! You are so right AND logical! I know the right thing, will happen when it's suppose too – really really great advice!

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Monica February 12, 2014 at 10:43 am

Candela March 10 three years ago as time passes. In September anger at school, that sentence gives me my baby is going me. Kisses and happy last Wednesday morning Friday.

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Dressing ivana February 12, 2014 at 1:51 pm

So much to thing in every step… But all will go just perfect

Hope you keep on with the blog…

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