BRAIN DRAIN

social media in life, restrict time on social media, mom and little girl moments Social media in all it’s glory, can be such a mind suck. I mean it’s great, but pretty darn addictive. Being able to connect with people across the globe (and make amazing friends you otherwise wouldn’t have ever had the opportunity to “meet”), finding a whole community of supportive people you can relate with, stay in touch with old friends or far away family, and get the business word out like nothing else before it – it’s a pretty crazy 21st century machine. It also has a ton of bad aspects, but I’m not diving into those waters right now. For me, all the reasons I like my social accounts, I also sometimes really dislike them. I am a natural multi-tasker, I actually find I work better when doing more then one thing at a time. I sort of thrive off that under-pressure-gotta-do-this-and-this-and-this, feeling. But social media turns me into a multi-tasking monster; I’m working during naptime and I am also checking my phone while the computer thinks, I have a second to walk to the store alone so I check my phone while I’m walking. See, since the window to have a moment to myself is so small (kids) I combine things to get the most out of those small window of alone moments.

I noticed that I have been feeling creatively tapped, and I couldn’t figure out why – other then not sleeping, ever. Until I realized it was because, the times when my brain would wander and daydream, I have been replacing those moments with phone checking, and my extreme multi-tasking. Social media is literally sucking my creative brainstorming time away. I decided I needed to be even more strict with my time on social media – I already try not to check when I’m around the kids so that I focus on them and them alone, I try to keep it to my time only (but I’m also no saint). It’s actually sort of embarrassing admitting that I needed to, force a mandatory time restriction on my adult self. It’s become something that is so apart of daily life, that those knee jerk checking reactions kick in. Like when you are hungry and you go to check the fridge for food, only to go back again and again to see what there is, even though you know its just the same stuff that was in there the first time you checked.

Social media is a weird thing, and I promise it’s only going to get weirder as ideas and technology grows. I am both grateful to have it, yet I wish for a time before it (which really wasn’t too long ago). It is one of those things that you either have to decide to be apart of and ride the growing wave, or step back and avoid it. Technology moves so darn fast, I personally want to stay with it and in the know. When the time comes that my kids are at the age where they are interested, I want to know what the heck is going on (at least in this part of their world). By that time (maybe 10+ years), who the heck knows what the internet and social media will be like and I don’t want to be asking them to teach me how to use stuff. I want to be the teacher, and the monitor all in one.

So I’m all about finding that balance, again. And getting my day dreaming moments back, reminding myself that there is no food in the fridge anyways, so I don’t need to go and check – metaphorically that is, I just went grocery shopping so she is actually pretty stocked.

What do you think, social media is a thing we talk about often (one I always hoped I wouldn’t post about, but here we are cliche and all) – we love to hate it. Do you avoid it, have self made restrictions, or maybe you aren’t a fridge checker?

*This picture, my head is so drained it got chopped off. Actually a cute little boy I know took our picture but accidentally forgot our heads – it’s fitting, sorta.



WORDLESS

blogging struggles, productivity issues, work at home mom, finding time to work, mom and daugther, young mom, wordless blog post blogging struggles, productivity issues, work at home mom, finding time to work, mom and daugther, young mom, wordless blog post Some weeks (probably about once a month) I find blogging a bit of a struggle and every time I hit a struggle it’s sorta centered around a different “theme”. Usually some internal struggle I’ve created in my mind, something small triggers it and I start over thinking like it’s my job. Sometimes it’s a worry about over sharing, or uninteresting sharing, not up to snuff sharing, is anyone even reading my sharing, I can’t find time to share, and the list goes on and on. It’s probably a struggle many other bloggers can relate too (maybe?) or just humans in general – no matter what you are doing there may be similar struggle that goes on often, I know it was and is like that for me with work. It can be positive, it helps keep me on my toes my oooover thinking forces me to reevaluate what I’m doing pretty often (maybe/probably too often) – he bad side to that is the struggle part, it really hurts the brain.

This week I’m struggling with words. I know as I write a post putting words into sentences, it sounds ridiculous (probably reads more ridiculous) but hear me out. Usually (for me) I have pictures and then the rambles just fall out like shooting word bullets (pew! pew! pew!) or verbal diarrhea, whatever you want to call it. This week I feel like I have cute pictures but no words are falling out. Then today I realized it’s because I have been focusing my energy and work hours (nap time and bedtime) to a project that is requiring a lot of my creative energy – I’m sorry, I hate vague cryptic sentences like that too. Since my work hours actually it’s more like time to blog, clean, work and get everything done hours are currently being focused on this new creative project (I promise I will share soon!) I’m having a hard time finding energy for words. Basically I’m a little tapped. I really love having a few things on the go at once, I work really great when I’m multi tasking but weeks like this It’s a bit detrimental to my productivity – and usually the blog is where the struggle shows it self because family (always numero uno), life and contract related projects just have to come first that’s how it goes.

I had hoped to write something really sweet about our Mother-Daughter time with these pictures but since I’m feeling rather “wordless”, that didn’t really work out this week. They don’t really go with the post, but they make me smile really big, so there they are.

COMFORT ZONE

push outside of your comfort zone, get in front of the camera, pictures with mom, don't hide behind the camera push outside of your comfort zone, get in front of the camera, pictures with mom, don't hide behind the camera push outside of your comfort zone, get in front of the camera, pictures with mom, don't hide behind the camera I have never been a comfortable in front of the camera type girl. Actually I have never been a girl who likes any extra attention shining my way. Happy Birthday songs? Cue tomato face, funny faces and total and utter embarrassment. I am charmingly awkward (I like to think it’s pretty darn charming) when it comes to those extra attention public situations. Having kids and this here blog has pushed me so far outside of my comfort zone, in a good way. When my kids are with me, I’m like my usual self (still with a side of awkward, it’s cool we all are) in front of the camera – all natural and cool (cool is pushing it). When I’m alone and the camera is pointed at me, I feel sorta lost and then my charmingly awkwardness pops out and I’m all “what do I do with my hands?!”. For someone who actually isn’t the biggest fan of extra attention, having a blog is sorta a crazy thing (least it sometimes feels crazy) – I think back and wonder how I even got here, all the time. But now that I am here, it’s been one of the best exercises for pushing me out of that comfort zone – among many other amazing reasons (as humble as I always am about this space, I am so proud of all it’s brought my way and how it’s grown from a hobby-to a place I love coming to-to a job I love).

These pictures Chris took of us on the weekend – are some of my favorite photos to date. I really love that though my comfort zone is behind the camera (or hiding off behind a tree) I am forced in front, because of the blog (I don’t want to be that hidden voice, and sometimes intentionally not sharing certain aspects like my face is as bad as over sharing) and because of the kids. I am happy to have been pushed so far out of my comfort zone that I’m able to share thoughts and passions, with so many amazing people – and sometimes feel pretty comfortable doing it now. I am often very proud and happy my kids will be able to look back and not know how much I didn’t like attention, because they have so many pictures with me in it. Moral of the story: push past that comfort zone – it might be awkwardly holding you back!

HALF A DECADE

He’s five, a whole flipping hand old. Last night I looked at him and couldn’t believe that 5 amazing years have flew by so quickly. I have loved every single lovely and rough moment (looking back I always love even those moments we struggled) of his 5 years of life so much. And I am (bitter-sweetly) excited to see the big boy he’s going to become and even the young adult (probably in a blink of an eye) he will grow into. I am so proud of him everyday and love being with him, I love him because he is the best son I could ever dream of and simply he is one of the best people I have ever met in my life. I could spew on for days about what a fantastic little human he is, and I’m sure you would believe me. Half a decade with you my little King, I am beyond grateful to get to spend my days as your Mommy. Happy Birthday my dream boy!

Rainbow pancakes, loads of balloons in the morning and the same birthday crown every year, are just a few of our Birthday traditions. Simple but things I hold super dear and hope the kids will too.

And then came all the thoughts about time and how sweet and also what a b*tch she can be. I have been a Mom for 5 years, that alone is a crazy mind game. One of the most important days in my history, the day this boy made me a Mother. A day that feels like it happened only last year, actually happened 5 whole years ago! Then I looked around, looked down at my PJs they were leggings I bought just before I got pregnant with him and then continued to wear through both pregnancies – and now have migrated into my PJ drawer. I always just thought of them as being “my old leggings” that were maybe a year or so old – wrong. Most of my thoughts and memories feel like that, like it happened just the other week – but time is tricky like that or at least she’s always playing those tricks on me.

The other day someone called me a women, and I looked behind me. Me a woman? I still feel like a teenager, a teen Mom I guess – even though I know I’m not.  It’s weird and hard to explain, like somehow someone got my age wrong but also got it right. Time seems to be funny like that, as soon as life seems to get really really good (like when the kids started arriving) time just decided to put the pedal to the metal and totally screw with me. And then I wonder, is this how my Mom felt with me and my siblings growing up? Is this how you all feel? Time flies, but it also often feels like it’s standing still and then I get hit in the face (like today) with the fact that it has actually flown. I don’t know, today my mind is a rambling.

*last photo is a grab from my IG feed.