EGO SCHMEGO

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let go of your ego That little voice or natural reaction to be anxious, jealous, judgmental, self-conscious, controlling and pretty much all those other gross feelings we usually like to pretend we don’t have. Well the more I try to let go of those parts/feelings I have that I just don’t like, and I’m not talking about the parts my ego tells me to dislike (those are probably the parts I need to learn to love). I realize (after so many years) those “qualities” I truly dislike about myself; being anxious, judgmental (to myself and others, as much as I hate to admit it), jealous (as much as I hate to admit it, even to myself) – they are all derived and grown from my ego. That silly word that sounds so proud, something that we are told is “good to have to be successful” but “be careful too big of one is no bueno”- sure it can play an important role, sometimes protecting us but more often it just inhibits.  A lot has been opened and arisen from my yoga practice but also there are those aspects of me I am constantly trying to improve, and I am learning that the ego (my ego) drives/feeds most of those parts.

So how does one let go of their ego, because it truly is something that isn’t so useful – except in very small doses? Pretty sure that’s a rhetorical question, because I don’t know the answer. And I wasn’t intending to even remotely try to tell you, because I am far from an expert (and hopefully I don’t sound like I am trying to be one). But I am learning to know when my ego kicks in, and I am trying to work towards letting it have less control. I avoid the front row in yoga practice because being too close to the mirror kicks my ego into full gear. I know when I’m feeling judged I have a tendency to judge. Much less over thinking about every detail in every situation that is put in front of me. And of course many other areas, I’m not going to bore you or use this as a psych appointment. I think it’s just due time, that I finally made a conscious effort and took the steering wheel away from my ego and put her in the back (hopefully the trunk) – and just focused on each moment rather then how it makes me feel, her feel, how I look when I feel it or how people are probably gonna think I feel.

*Posting this was hard (I don’t know why), I had to fight with myself – which turns out was just another fight to let my ego, go.

© 2013, HEART & HABIT. All rights reserved.

· July 10, 2013 · in Daily,Real Life



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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Jessica July 10, 2013 at 7:48 pm

Your honesty is so refereshing!!

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Heart and Habit July 11, 2013 at 10:02 am

sometimes I just really need to get thoughts out of my head and set them free…sorta say.

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Mel July 10, 2013 at 9:54 pm

??? beautifully written. Thank you for your courage!

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Heart and Habit July 11, 2013 at 10:01 am

Thank you!!

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Christine July 11, 2013 at 9:33 am

There are good sides to each of the qualities you’ve stated — especially, when it comes to work situations, the "bad" ones.
I empathize with the mirror situation. Group classes make me highly aware of my judgery.

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Heart and Habit July 11, 2013 at 9:59 am

Yes, you are so right Christine! In small doses they can be helpful, protecting us. For me, I think if I can keep the bad sides in check the good sides can shine a bit more.

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