MOM UNIFORM / TO RUN ERRANDS

DENIM VEST (token denim piece) . HOODIE (the comfort layer, that also keeps you warm) . STRIPED PANTS (the jazz to your regularly mundane errands. bring the jazz hands if you dare)  . TEE (bring the spring , since it might not actually be feeling like it outside) . BOOTIES (dreamboat booties, also good for a lot of walking – or so I tell myself in my dreams) . HANDBAG (the two hands free, handbag. a pretty backpack).

Call me crazy on the pants, it’s okay I fully expect it – yes, these pants are a “90’s flashback” OR a “smack in the face with the 90’s” if you please. This pair to me is the perfect updated middle ground, wearable stripe – thicker then a pin stripe, but not pulled from an old 90’s hair band costume. You could go the super stripe route, the middle ground stripe (like I would), or subtle and simple stripe – or maybe you’re like “get a life Brandy, no way could I wear any of those” sub in a faded black skinny instead (cause that would be my sub in).

Errands are not the highlight of my week, or day (because it’s usually a daily task) – they aren’t dreadful but certainly not exciting. SO why not wear a comfortable outfit that is a bit exciting and really these pants were meant to be seen with human eyes, so wear them on a day when you actually leave the house (because we all have many days like that). Also pattern mix, because why not!



FIRST BORN

The past few weeks have been a super rough one for me and my first born, the kinda rough where I put myself in more “quiet times” to catch my breathe or calm myself, then I hand out. My usually sweet boy, has hit a new horribly painful stage of bad behavior, somewhere between 4 and 5. I have no idea what this stage is called since, it doesn’t seem to be as glamorous as the terrible twos and so doesn’t seem to have a name.

We have been having far too many days in a row where, I pick him up while he’s sleeping, rock him and silently cry telling him how sorry I am for raising my voice, losing my cool, and for just not being a better mom. Too many days where I feel like I am unequipped and at a total loss for how to deal, and properly parent the behavior and attitude that seems to come along with this “fun” new age.

I have spent countless hours reading and looking for “tips” or rather information on how to be a better parent to my 4.5 going on 14 year old. I keep hitting walls, most articles and books like to categorize children in 4-6 different categories of temperament which then results in, 4-6 different behavior tendencies and 4-6 possible ways to raise/deal with/nurture. At times I find these categories more confusing then helpful, both my children fit into 2-3 of these categories and it sometimes changes as they grow. They are dynamic little beings, with growing personalities, which results in changes of temperaments (sometimes). So I gather up all the information I can and “test” different methods and strategies to work with him – trying to stay nurturing, firm and positive to all 2-3 aspects of his temperament.

As I gathered and wrote a new list of bullet points, of possible parenting “methods” for this new unnamed rough stage we have hit (the crazy list/organization lady rears her head again) – I remembered hearing from people that the first born was your “test child” the “trial and error child” and other things that sounded super ridiculous and actually sorta cold, at the time. But sadly (or maybe not sadly, IDK) there is some truth to it.

I am totally blindly following King’s lead, when the days get rough I have to sit back and adjust how I “mom” – usually it’s me that needs to change, he is growing and changing and 9 times out of 10 I need to adjust my parenting to meet his growth. We are riding on these sometimes super rough and most of the time smooth, sweet and gentle, waters together. I don’t really know where we are going and neither does he, but there is something extra special about learning along the way together. The second child (and third, fourth and fifth – if you are of the super mom variety) no doubt have the benefit of being your partner on a trip the second time around, you will already know the way (a little, since every child is different) and they can just take your hand as you more confidently follow their lead. The second time around has been a bit smoother, in my small and short experience – even if for the small reason, that I have an idea of what might be up ahead. But there is something so extra special about being the “test child”, parenting is truly a one of a kind journey with each child but navigating the waters for the very first time is something you only get to do once and that lucky first-born gets to be your partner on that very first rocky and smooth trip.

So as rough and rocky as our days have been, I have been (trying) to reminding myself that even these rough times will be sweet memories later in life. Little snapshots of my very first parenting journey that I got to take with my first-born “test child” and I am so grateful that I have him to hold my hand (or anger-ly not want to hold my hand) through all these first times (how ever sour and sweet they might be).

I am also trying to remind myself that we all have rough parenting days/weeks, and that maybe I’m not perfect but I am perfect for him.

MOM TIME OUT / HAPPINESS IS EVA

AMBER FROM HAPPINESS IS EVA WOULD WEAR: 01.Maxi Dress 02.Belt 03.Clutch 04.Shoes

TO A TEA FOR TWO MOM TIME OUT: image via touched by an eclectic angel

SHE WOULD USE: 05.Chai Tea 06.Mug 07.Tea Pot 08.Sweet Snacks

I think when women become mothers, they often find this new role completely incapsulating. For myself, I know this to be true. Completely in love, but in a sense, when I first became a mother to my beautiful little girl, I lost a little part of my own identity. I was no longer “Amber”, but rather “Eva’s Mummy”.

If I’ve learnt anything from motherhood, it’s that you have to be selfless. You have to put the needs of your newborn above your own. But as Eva has gotten older, slowly I’ve had to learn to accept that it’s ok to have a break, to put myself first, to be a little ‘selfish’. So, whether it’s attending my Saturday morning prenatal yoga class, shopping for a couple of hours or just going over to a friend’s house for afternoon tea, I’ve learnt that I need these little moments to reenergize and refresh.

 

Make sure you check out Amber, her cute little growing family on her blog Happiness is Eva.