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Filed Under: ADVICE AND INFO, Daily, SIMPLE LIVING

SHOPPING RULES 101

shopping rules 101 Last year I made a vow, that I would only buy items that were needed and avoid the wants as much as possible. My spending habits needed a reset, our budget needed a kick in the butt and I needed to jolt feelings of discontent far out of my mind.

I felt like I was stuck in this place were I thought I needed things, but really they were just things I wanted but told myself I had to have them. Those new boots needed to be in my closet, because I didn’t have a pair with buckles like that. In my head I was still working in fashion full time, even though I had technically left it to be home with the kids. It’s actually pretty exhausting, feeling like you constantly want or need some thing. Because the thing is, there is always going something – you make the purchase of that bag you’ve been coveting and instantly there is something else that fails at the top of your need/want list. It’s an exhausting, expensive cycle.

Since I wasn’t working full time, and Chris held the title for main breadwinner (still reigning title holder) – I needed to re-think our finances. I haven’t always been the best with money, and working in the fashion only made that worse. Before setting the NEED ONLY rule, I tried making a family budget and the list of items I thought needed to be on there (but were really just wants) was pretty long and made it so confusing. I wanted to learn to live below our means (I feel like living below your means, should be one of life’s golden rules), and always stay one step ahead – so that life would hopefully (eventually) would be a little less stressed out and a lot more simple and beautiful.

There is nothing wrong with wanting things, it’s impossible not to. But the thing is, when you are always wanting and wishing it has a tendency to breed discontentment inside of you. That feeling of constantly wishing and wanting, can put blinders on preventing you from seeing the amazing things that are in front of you. Discontentment, is a gross and ugly feeling – I have been there ( I can actually think of 4 really stand out times where this gross feeling had a pretty big stab at me) and I didn’t want it in my life anymore. Changing what I wanted and how I saw things, needed to happen.

Yesterday I went grocery shopping meal plan and list in hand, marking down each item and how much it cost as I put it in the cart (I’ve turned anal retentive with my grocery shopping). I realized how my entire outlook on shopping (even the basics) have changed, how I get a rush from hitting my grocery budget (as opposed to the rush of buying a ton of food we didn’t need, and often had to toss cause it was never eaten and was probably pretty unhealthy). I actually get a great feeling when I think there is something I want, only to find reasons why I don’t need it. It’s like I have conditioned myself to think the opposite way, instead of thinking of the reasons why I need to buy those boots (because they are just so cute) I think of the reasons why I don’t need them, and 99% of the time I walk away feeling better not buying them. It’s been a crazy shift and only recently have I seen the long term (and hopefully forever) effects my shopping rules have had….

ONLY BUY WHAT YOU NEED.

  • when you are shopping, buy more timeless essentials and less trendy items. you want your closet to slowly be full of items that can be interchangeable when styled and don’t go out of style each season. trends are awesome and fun, and you can’t not take part so when possible buy the most wearable version of your favorite trend you don’t need to take part in every one.
    meal plan! buy what you need and maybe an extra easy fall back meal or two, for those nights you don’t want to cook – so instead of going out or ordering out, you have the fall backs to go to.

ONLY BUY WHAT YOU LOVE.

  • this has been my steadfast rule, since forever. if you are iffy about something, put it back. if you know you are going to think about it for weeks or months to come if you don’t buy it, then you should probably get it. sometimes, something is super awesome and you might love it on other people – but when you try it, you don’t love it on yourself…put it back.  eventually your closet will also be filled with things you love, and things will automatically be versatile and easily styled together.

TRY TO ONLY BUY ITEMS THAT FIT INTO BOTH RULES. but this isn’t always going to be possible, but if it is – major bonus.

We still dress stylishly, but more focused and our closets are full favorites (or are slowly getting there). We eat healthier, less junk also means smaller grocery bills. I use these rules when shopping for the kids and for Chris and I. When the kids need pants (or anything else), I don’t just buy whatever because they need them – I look and buy what we love (and need) so it will get the most wear and use. Instagram, Pinterest and blogs have a bad reputation for breeding discontent in people – but it’s all how you view the beautiful content, it’s not the contents fault (or the content creators) if it stirs those feels up. The only Joneses you need to keep up with are the ones you tell yourself too, so unless you know an awesome couple named The Jones you can probably get rid of them all together.

*an old picture from the Fall, and the weather looks dreamy in it!

SHARE IT, I DARE YOU!

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January 22, 2014     |     written by Brandy     |     14 Comments

Comments

  1. Morgan says

    January 22, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    Fabulous post! I wanted to thank you again for your email and let you know that I left without buying a darling $6 sailor dress for my daughter at the second hand shop and felt way better – lighter, more content – than if I would have walked out with it. Now to make a habit of it:)

    Reply
    • Heart and Habit says

      January 22, 2014 at 5:24 pm

      Thank you Morgan! That’s awesome, really such a great feeling – good luck!

      Reply
  2. Josie W says

    January 22, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    Great post !! Totally agree with "closet full of favorites" 🙂 I’m newbie here and loving all of your posts !!! 🙂

    Reply
    • Heart and Habit says

      January 22, 2014 at 5:24 pm

      Thank you Josie!

      Reply
  3. Meredith says

    January 23, 2014 at 11:14 am

    Lots of great ideas! I was reminded of the tips MAV over at 3191 has about purchasing: "Buy well made. Buy thoughtfully. Buy what you love." Seems like the simplest advice is often the best.

    I also see that the photo is taken in front of one of favourite neighbourhood haunts, Salumaria (the Italian grocery store next to the green grocers on Yonge). I have a tendency to overspend in there, but I’m pretty sure the quality of their food subscribes to the tenet of well-made purchases…

    Reply
  4. Jelena says

    January 23, 2014 at 3:07 pm

    This is the first post I read from you and I just love it!
    I had the same experience… and now I am more happy when I don’t buy things I thought I needed.

    Jelena from Slovenia http://momminimalistfashion.blogspot.com/

    Reply
  5. mandygrzymala says

    January 23, 2014 at 7:53 pm

    Completely agree! I’m starting to build my ‘closest of favorites’, but man, is it hard to say no to those trendy pieces sometimes. Gotta say, I work for a children’s company and search for quality blogs all day, and yours is da best. Doesn’t hurt that you love yoga, too 😉 http://www.joyscout.co

    Reply
    • steves003 says

      April 5, 2014 at 5:47 am

      Yes I agree with you Jack

      Reply
  6. michelle says

    January 28, 2014 at 1:46 am

    i’ve been meaning to comment – i decided to change my shopping habits this year. this post is so refreshing and reassuring that i am making the right decision. it’s actually kind of fun telling myself no – it makes me feel so good. thanks for this great post. xo.

    Reply
    • Heart and Habit says

      January 28, 2014 at 1:07 pm

      Yes!! That’s awesome, my old shopping buddy "unshopping "with me now! 🙂

      Reply
  7. andrewjohn6985 says

    January 28, 2014 at 7:44 pm

    Awesome rules which are helpful in shopping. I would like to add one more rule in this, before you go to shop do check Store Flyer

    Reply
  8. Stevy2012 says

    March 1, 2014 at 10:22 pm

    Great shopping rules. But many times the desire of the eyes is too strong.
    Especially when it comes to shoes:

    http://www.nursingshoescenter.com/

    Reply
  9. paleo shopping list says

    June 13, 2014 at 9:44 am

    Great advice. Shopping intelligently is very important.

    Reply
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