Oh hey there! (nerd alert! I felt like a picture of me looking over my shoulder deserved a proper intro).
Thank you to all of you who sent me questions last week! They were super helpful, inspiring and insightful – much more than I expected, so thank you! One of the most frequently asked questions (FAQ page, material) from last week and life in general is: What do you do with your day now that the kids are in school, what is “work”? And I thought since it is asked so often and I haven’t really answered it yet (I talked a bit about it here but also, not really) it sorta deserved its very own post even if it is a little dry ( I mean, super duper interesting and exciting), but hey I spiced it up with an over the shoulder photo!
For me personally, last year was a huge year of worry and a big year of change. The “WTH was I going to do with myself once both kids were in school full-time” stressy feelings totally took over my thoughts. It was a transitional, searching to find myself type of year (but in real life there were many more swear words involved). “What am I going to do?” was pretty much all I could think about and generally I tend think out loud (right, husband?). I had been home taking care of the kids full-time for the past almost 5 years and I wasn’t sure how I was going to bring in income or feel career/creatively fulfilled once they were both in school.
The last time I had felt stressed and maybe even a tad lost in the same sorta way was when we decided that I stay home with the kids, instead of going back to work full-time. Not that staying home to take care of the kids full-time wasn’t the best decision of my life. It truly truly was, but I also really enjoyed working, producing things and being creative. Not having that aspect in my day-to-day gave me some anxiety. And that’s about when I started this blog, Harlow was brand spanking new, I had a 20 month old toddler boy and a blog, things were good (crazy busy) but it seemed to help fill that gap and I felt less anxious.
Then a whole 4.5 years later, I fell back into the stressed, trying to find myself spot when both my babies (oh the emotions!!) first day of full-time school creeped closer and closer. I searched for part-time jobs, looked at child care and full-time work, but in the end none of it seemed to be the right option for us. I decided to wait (thanks to good advice from friends) and see how things went, send both kids off to school and see how the first couple months not having them home all day, actually was. I had this blog that I loved devoting my time and energy too which was thriving and already providing a bit of income for my family, I had a small column at hellobee, and I had started working with some apparel brands offering my years of experience in apparel design and development on a consulting basis (working in fashion is what I did for a living before kiddos, you can see a bit more on my about page).
I’m not gonna lie, the first part of the school year was stressful (or me), I felt guilty not bringing in more money. But things slowly started to work themselves out, every corner of my “work” life seemed to be growing, probably because I had more undivided time to offer to it? Maybe.
So right now that’s what I do (long-winded answer) I work from home – it’s a complicated answer to a simple question. I even have a hard time explaining it to my friends and family (it’s not you, it’s me). I have what feels like, 4 “jobs” that I totally love: this blog (plus my product collaborations), hello bee, design/product development consulting and dreaming (I feel like this deserves it’s very own category) – and things are really great!! I’m not rolling in the dough, but I’m busy (a good type of busy) fulfilled, I truly love how I spend my days and who I get to work with and I have a clearer picture of where things are headed and I can almost reach some of my long time dreams (almost).
This whole transitioning as the kids grow and finding or re-finding yourself is a huge complicated topic and one I want to try to tackle in a more useful way. I’m trying to figure out a plan to do this, put together something that I would have found helpful and maybe inspiring when I felt stressed and lost. Now, wanna tell me what you do? Seems fair!
Loved this — mainly because I’ll be going through the exact same thing very soon! I worked in a family business all through my teens and university (part-time) and then moved to Italy where I taught English for a couple years, fell in love, moved back and had baby Seba. I went back to the family business and worked until Seba was born. Started blogging around the same time, and just loved the outlet to say whatever I wanted and document my growing baby. I went back to work after my maternity leave and kept on until Gabry came along. That’s when we decided it was in our best interest for me to stay home. Best decision ever. We’re not loaded either, and we cutback on so much (but mainly things we don’t miss – like cable, cell phones, etc) I’ve always loved vintage and thrifting for as long as I can remember, and started planning to open an etsy shop with all my vintage kids wear.. I even took all the photos, opened the shop on etsy and ig (privately lol) but just never got that final courage to leap. I’m still searching for it, and after reading your post, I wonder if just that little more time to myself once Gabry is in school is what I need. People seriously don’t understand how much time picking up and dropping off one child, while watching, teaching, entertaining the other one can be! Add in all the rest, and I swear I barely find time — ok, well right now I have time to write this because I’m in bed with Gabry who just fell asleep 🙂 Anyhow, I’m typing this on my phone and I’m sure it’s all over the place because I can’t see everything I wrote 😉 thanks for sharing this – it was interesting and inspirational — two things I need a lot of these days.
I went back to work between kids too, but for like 6 months. Things will fall into place, they really will! We should have coffee some time!
We should! Or a skate date with the men and kids. I think our men are equally inappropriate so they should hit it off… In an awkward sort of way.
I loved this post Brandy. Good for you and thanks for sharing!
I am currently at the start of this journey with my newborn boy. I left my full-time job in marketing back in 2012 to pursue freelance writing full-time from home. Flash forward to 2015 and I decided not to take a traditional "maternity leave" when baby arrived because working from home was already so convenient and writing a few articles and working on some contracts each month would be more profitable than signing up for the freelance maternity leave from EI. I’m only two weeks into motherhood so I am still learning how to juggle my new job as a mom and my writing work. I definitely worry about it every day for about five minutes that I won’t be able to keep it up but then I remember, like you said – things have a way of working themselves out – and I am up for the challenge! 🙂
It always does, but it’s hard to remember that when you feel stuck! Congratulations on your new baby boy!
Dreaming totally deserves its own category. Every season in life is equally as important. Be sure and forgive yourself often and appreciate the time you have to sift through what’s important to you! ♥
I Love reading your post/blog!
I had two children, one after the other, just 18 months apart. The younger one will be 3 years old on Saturday.
I started to work last year in June, so I was at home for more then 4 years and looking back I am so happy I was.
We cut short on so many things, but gained precious time and I started to blog, just not to lose … myself.
Today I enjoy and love my new work, not just the paycheck.
Looking back I would not change a thing, I would stay at home and I would also start to work if the job gave me joy and fulfillment.
Love, Jelena
YES Anything you have to say on this subject I want to hear. I have a year and half before the little one starts school and as much as I just don’t want to even think about it yet, I can’t help thinking and wondering and stressing.
5 years ago we decided to start our family in large part because I just couldn’t find a career and we didn’t want to wait several more years for me to figure something new out, train, get a job and get established. I hated engineering and quit and then couldn’t find a job in carpentry even after going to school for it. So that doesn’t bode well for finding a job I love in the future. Bleh I’m going to go back to at least pretending I’m not thinking about it.
Stressful, I understand! Try not to think too much about it (like I’m one to talk) try to just enjoy your year and a half as much as possible!